Have you ever felt sad and didn’t know why?
Have you ever cried for no reason at all?
I started saying positive affirmations to myself when I was going through chemotherapy. I didn’t feel like any of the perky things that I said to myself in the mirror. That is why I had to say them.
I am strong
I am free
I am healed
I am whole
I am loved
I am beautiful
Then why do I feel so bad?
I am happy
I am deserving
I am calm
I am fulfilled
I am successful
I am going to get better
Then why does it feel like I will never feel joy again?
It was hard for me to stand in front of the mirror and tell myself these things that I wanted to believe. It’s hard to be positive when you’re fighting for your life. I have always been happy. It is tough to maintain that positive spin when you are dealing with a cancer diagnosis.
I had to believe in me. I had to believe I would be healthy again.
I wrote out a list of over twenty positive affirmations.
I posted them in front of me on the counter in the bathroom.
I would look at the list.
I would look at me.
My skin did not have its healthy glow.
My eyes looked glazed. I had to look hard to see the me that was there before chemo.
As I started reading my list and speaking the words, they sounded hollow.
But as I read the words though, I stood up straighter.
I started to feel the words. I needed to believe them. I wanted them to be true.
I read my list of positive affirmations each day. Some days I read them crying. Some days I read them with doubt.
But most days my desire for them to become my truths took hold.